First birthdays are a milestone moment. Not just for the newly minted toddler, but for the parents who have spent an entire year learning and often struggling through life with a baby. When I look back at Isaac’s first year, I’m struck by how much my world has shifted, but also by how at peace I am at being a mom. There have been hard, hard lessons that have been learned, with many more lessons to come as Isaac continues to grow. I’m sharing a few things I’ve taken with me on the journey so far of motherhood.
Parenting is a long game and it’s everchanging. There are days (and nights) that your baby will just need you nonstop and that’s ok. When I was working on getting Isaac to sleep in his crib, it was hours of rocking, putting down, crying, picking up, and starting all over again. It was mentally and physically exhausting, but in the end Isaac had a lightbulb moment in understanding his sleep space and I was a better parent for it. Parenting takes grit and teaching them takes time. Everything about life with a baby is a series of steps and achievements that goes a lot slower than we as adults would like. I’ve learned to appreciate the chaotic season of life that I’m in and when we’ve had a rough day, I remind myself that there’s another day ahead that will be better.
Loving being a mom can co-exist with the fact that it’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do. They are not mutually exclusive. There’s beauty in the chaos and it can be equal parts wonderful and exhausting. There is also the idea that mothers will just instinctively know how to be a mom once their baby is born and that’s unrealistic. There’s a significantly higher percentage of what I didn’t know vs. what I did know. Google it, go to a Facebook mom group, there’s no shame in not knowing.
Parenting isn’t straight forward because kids are always changing. Before Isaac, I had the idea that when babies hit milestones like sleeping through the night that that was that. I could focus on the next thing because he was a night sleeper. I didn’t realize that Isaac would sleep through the night for a week, then get sick, get new teeth, go through a sleep regression, and then sleep through the night again. Babies are little people, not robots, and good sleepers will be bad sleepers, and vice versa. Once you think you have them figured out, they change again. Eating solid foods has been a big challenge for Isaac (and myself) as of late, and I am learning that you have to wade through a lot of muck to figure out solutions.
If there’s a buzz word that would describe the last year as a first time mom, it would be the word humbling. Isaac has brought so much joy, but also a reality check. I’ve learned that it does in fact take a village to raise a child and I gladly and gratefully accept the help that’s offered. Moms don’t have to carry the weight of parenthood on their shoulders alone, that burden should be spread around. There is NO shame is taking breaks or asking for help. Taking personal time helps you recenter and you come back reenergized. Babies deserve happy and healthy moms. After having an unplanned c-section, I needed a lot of help and I couldn’t haven’t gotten through my recovery without my husband, grandparents, family, extended family, and friends who did chores. let me sleep, cooked, and took a load off of me being a new mom.
Being a mom is hard and post partum recovery is equally hard, but there is no other title that I love more than mama. It’s a title that comes with a lot of laughter, pure chaos, tears, fears, and sleepless nights. Watching Isaac grow into a little boy from a baby is the greatest gift and achievement of my life. Kids are truly a blessing and I know that I’m living some of the best days that older parents often describe when looking back.
If you ever need advice or sometime to talk to, please reach out. As a mom, you are never alone and you’re doing a great job.
-xo
Darcy
